Pleasant Surprises

March 17, 2015- the next steps taken to find a new gyn oncologist and get treatment.

As I mentioned in my last post, I had to find a new oncologist.  It was worrying to me since my old oncologist had just discovered a new mass and I felt it needed to come out immediately. We ARE talking about ovarian CANCER here...but  Dr. Gawd did not feel the need.  So the search was on for someone new.  In a happy surprise, it turns out the search was blessedly brief.  After getting a referral from my local gynecologist, researching this oncologist online and getting glowing reports from a couple of friends who'd had loved ones treated by him, I agreed to set up an appointment with him, although I was still feeling apprehension and reluctant.  This was just not a hassle I needed in my life right now but sometimes ya have no choice.  The appointment was made and in less than a week, we were sitting in his office!  That was another surprise. The speed with which this was accomplished was astonishing....with my last oncologist I'd typically have to wait 6 weeks to even get in to see her.  I'd have to wait for days and days (if not weeks) to just get a phone call returned.  Not good in the cancer-fighting world to my point of view.  So, we got in quickly and my confidence slowly starts to build.  Maybe this will turn out alright after all....

 I had a few days to prepare for the appointment but I couldn't think of a darn thing to ask.  I was so flustered by this experience.  The thoughts in my brain spiralled like water swirling around a drainspout and the harder I thought the faster things swirled till I was just filled with overwhelming confusion.  Finally, on the trip to Dr. Savior's office I started writing down questions fast and furious.  I was still feeling very much on the defensive and like I needed to brace myself, kind of like when a parent prepares a firm stance with arms open as their toddler comes barreling at them! I was expecting another big hit similar to my former oncology office! Eventually we arrive at  Dr. Savior's office and are greeted by the receptionist.  She's on the phone but on hold.  She smiles and whispers "Hi, I'm Mary Beth.  You must be Melissa."  I returned her smile while feeling my defensiveness lower a bit and my hopes rise a little.  If the receptionist is this pleasant, thats usually an indication of what the doctor and rest of the staff will be like.  Have you ever noticed that?  Then a really funny thing happened...Mary Beth started laughing, looked at me and whispered as she pointed to the phones mouthpiece "I don't know WHATS up with their on-hold music but its making me wanna pee!  I don't know if its sposed to be the sound of running water and a breeze through leaves or what but someone better get on the line quick before I wet myself!"  She was just cracking up at her wittiness which in turn made me laugh out loud too.  Humor really is the best medicine and I could feel myself liking this office more and more.  These were my people! :) 

Then nurse Kathy came out and called me in.  She was so kind as she asked questions and had me bring her up to speed.  She not only listened kindly to what my concerns were regarding my current health concerns but also to my gripes about how I'd been treated in the other oncology office.  She was empathetic and validating. I felt like I'd gotten a gentle hug from an understanding grandmother. She had some wonderful resources, invited me to a support group she runs and got me on her email list so I didn't feel so isolated and alone in my journey.  Wow!  She's great too, I thought! 

 But I still had to meet this oncologist and I felt weary.  I wanted desperately to like this guy ....to feel as though I could LIKE having him on my healthcare team.  As bad as I hoped for it, I seriously doubted it would happen though.  Doesn't it seem like you get one or the other....a really smart, educated and experienced doctor but seemingly no bedside manner, no sense of caring OR you meet a doctor who's quite personable and friendly, seems like a nice person but doesn't exactly instill confidence in you.  Thats been my experience at least, and its what I expected in meeting Dr. Savior.  I was cautious and guarded.  But I was also determined to get my questions answered and since I had nothing to lose at this point I'd decided I was gonna let him have it both barrels. Beat him to the jump, so to speak. Before we started with my inquisition, he reviewed the information in my files and reports with me.  He actually seemed shocked at the other doctors recommendations, as though they made no sense at all.  Of course, I agreed wholeheartedly!  He was also not happy that no further follow up testing was done to see if there may be some other considering factors.  Yes, we agreed with him there too!  He then outlined what his recommendations were and again we were in agreement.  I'm thinking to myself "I think I like this guy!" Surprisingly,  I felt my defensiveness melting away like an dropped ice cream cone on a hot sidewalk. Then he said, "I see you have quite a list of questions there, lets go over those." What?!  He WANTED to here my questions?  Cool....there's a new sensation!  When I entered that office I was prepared to do battle...I was expecting this doctor to treat me just a shoddy as my former one had, thinking that this must just be how it is dealing with oncologists.  But the weird thing was, I didn't feel defensive anymore.  I really loved Dr. Savior's style and that of his staff....answering questions before the questions even arose, listening attentively to me, asking what I thought and felt about things...everything I'd hoped for but doubted I'd ever find.  I looked over my list of questions and just smiled. Happily, none of them mattered anymore because everything had already been addressed. And in the nicest way possible!  I was surprised that I wasn't gonna have to give it to him both barrels because THEY had given it to ME with both barrels...friendliness, empathy and professionalism all wrap up together.  Let's proceed!